When Adam and I were first dating, 6 years ago, I was in my second year of running this Photography Boutique. I was also in University finishing up my child psychology degree. You know, my backup plan for life.
Being in my young twenties I felt sheepish around my University peers about having a business. It just seemed so very, very nerdy. And like I was the worlds biggest keener. I loved what I did, but I feared that showing the “business woman” side of me, might damper Adam’s feelings of the “cute, bubbly, quirky” girl. Silly I know. When I look back now, I think I pretty much should have had a t-shirt made that said “Im lacking confidence, but dang it, im going somewhere”.
Anyways, while we were dating, I tended to need to disapear (you know, for a wedding) on weekends. The more we dated the harder it was to lie (yes, I lied. Well I told half truths. Whatever, same thing), but ive got good stickwithitness, so I stuck with it. I continued to lie. Or rather, omit huge parts of my life.
He would ask “going home to visit your mom again”? and I would say “yes. see you in a few days”. Then I would put on my nerdy “make me look older” glasses & go shoot a wedding.
Here is where it gets funny. I never told him. SIX MONTHS INTO DATING, my sister (who I was roomates with at the time) had had enough. She just told him. Straight up, like that. Betrayed my trust and everything (you know, because I was all about integrity at this point). She said “Adam, Radelle has a photography company”.
A piece of me died.
He replied “I know. I googled her months ago”
Oh sweet mother of pearl.
I turned 5000 shades of red. I tried to explain “I just….im a nerd….I didn’t want to…..I don’t own a rolex….im still play frisbee in the park radelle”
He just gathered me into his strong arms & told me that it was okay.
I thought about how significant that was that he respected me & my secret enough that he didn’t call me out on it. If you really think about it, there is a remarkable love in that. I knew in that moment that I would be safe with him. Even if he busted me in a lie. Or 6 months worth of lies.
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